Why does someone like me get to joking about hell & the bible & believe there is no hell or heaven?

It seems like you're having a faith problem. Im kinda in the same boat but i;m reading this book by Frederick Price called How to Obtain Great Faith or something like that. I've found that I just need a closer relationship with him. Faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God. So in order to get closer to him READ HIS WORD! You can't have a relationship with Him if you're the only person talking. The Bible is his message, his love letter to us. And do what it says. That's how you abtain the Faith part. Just try that out and remember that no matter what happens that God loves you and takes care of his own. Question is are you one of his own?